ALL OF ME

My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

This is the story of crazy situation that i have faced in this past week. It drive me out of my mind so that why it have a little bit of john legend lyric there. But this is not in the romance context more like crazy.

So let us move on. My family always love the kampung life and we always in search of a perfect place to lived in. We found it but there is a man who doesn't like the method that we used to achieve that dream. He told me n mom to think thoroughly. But the way he said make me n mom feel like he underestimated our thinking skill. The voice that he used make me want to cried at that time and let me tell you I did not cry in front of others. Then he say about other thing that make me feel like want to say " SHUTTT UPP". He start wondering why retire early even he still continued working. Well Mr our condition and situation are far different than yours so do not compare. A lot of thing left unsaid. To this man if you are reading this then know that I have answer for all your question and heed my warning. 

Why my mom n dad want to retired early that is because they want to focus to my handicapped little brother that you sometimes just ask a few time. You don't know what we have been through. We do that method so that there is no other payment that need to be made after the retired. and why early retired that because all of my parent children which is me n my brothers have no need to be care or like malay said "kami dah lepas sudah" . We don't need financial support so that left only my lil bro. not like you who still have a child who are in school. So Think!!! Did you know that night my feeling was hurt and I cry like there is no tomorrow. Its so hard to describe just that I can say that I'm hurt by what you saying that night. 

And for my warning STAY OUT OF MY FAMILY BUSINESS NOT ALL OF OUR AFFAIRS YOU NEED TO KNOW. 

The End.

Yeah after that night when I went to your house I cant even lift a smile to my face. I am so insincerely smile.. Fake smile..

i don't even know how i am going to face you after this. 

SORRY NEED TO LET IT GO OR I WILL GO INSANE

I apologized if with this entries you will be hurt, just know that we will never going to be like we used to be.

stare -__-

stareeeeeeeeeeeeeee...just stariiiinnnnggg...dude what do you stare at...huhu SPA lg ...mak camna nk bg kuruih dlm masa seminggu ni...nk mampuih...waaa aku nk sangat dapat yg ni so that my parent x dak la nk susah sgt dok survive tiap-2 bulan ...nk sangat...tp mereka mengatakan .BMI anda haruslah seimbang..daaa...i tau la i obes...buang yg tu tepi-2 x boleh ka...i still cergas and rajin bekerja...x pun kita wat compromise...dlm msa 3 taun klu x kuruih x dapat kerja...huh boleh ka...waaaa...nk teriak ngan muka x dak perasaan ...boleh x? tolong la sya ni bukan anak org senang tpi hati saya kekadang senang ja terguris... sya bukan gelojoh mkn ..tidak sya mkn yg perlu sahaja..tpi klu mknan manis n lemak berkrim ...hmm ..kdang ingat dunia ingat la ..tp kadang lupa la jugak...waaaaaaaaHHHHHH

   

SANCTUARY

Setiap orang ada a safe place or safe haven or their own sanctuary..I guess I am one of those people. Where is my sanctuary ..it just happen to be inside my house ..actually its my room .. this is the place that i sleep, thinking room pn boleh...tempat aku reflect diri..tempat aku nyanyi x ingat dunia..tempat aku nk berangst ..tempat merajuk merayu nk kna pujuk..tempat cari ilham ..tempat buat sepah...tempat aku luah perasaan...as you all finally guess ..aku mmg ada kat dalam bilik pn la ni...bilik ni aku sorang ja yg tido...teringat plak dulu ada la cikgu aku tanya sapa yang dapat bilik dia seorang ja..zupp aku angkat la tangan dengan berapa org kawan aku...tapi yg angkat tu 1% ja...so aku macam pelik pasai apa depa yg lain ni x dak bilik sendiri..rupanya masalah adik beradik ramai..x cukup bilik..aku kira untung la dapat bilik sendiri as yang ni dah jadi private room aku dah...bukan aku x besa share bilik ngan abg aku ...dr kecik smpai darjah 4 kot tido ngan dia...lepaih tu aku berani terlebih la kot ...wala my own room...still aku dapat bilik tengah ...abg bilik belakang...but actually its quite ok gak la..sbb anak dara ni x pernah la lagi kena intai ke apa...hopefully not...at least aku selamat la dari duk wat bnda -2 yg negatif dlm idup aku..tp bila dah beso ..internet ada...otak ada...semua yg taboo..semua aku search..it have to be stop ..sebab yg taboo tu la ..yg buat aku mcm ni...org kata jgn dok biar dok sendiri ..mcm-2 dia cari..tapi sekarang dah dewasa pandai dah control, bukak incognito window, padam history...yg tu apa yg aku wat tuk hapuskan bukti la...tp klu parents aku nk guna lappy aku ..haa mula la kelam kelibut..padam history..huhu...jahat sungguh aku ni...bilik aku ni simple la gak ada katil ..meja blajar..almari ngan mesin jahit..tapi aku x guna pun..buat perhiasan ja...mak guna la jugak sekali skala aku jgn harap la nklk guna mesin tu..jahit tangan macam ok lagi kot...by the way...happy birthday to meeee!!!! haha aku rant ar wei..