what should i do

1/3/2018 cukup setahun adik aku meninggal .. Since then, aku jadi x tentu arah...mostly aku boring la.. ye la x dak keja..x wat keja.. aku jadi macam takut nak kuar p cari kerja..Aku tau aku kena cari kerja..tapi aku takut..so sekarang ni jaga budak..tapi its too painful to remember that i used to have someone that i care so much..boleh kata aku mencari diri yang hilang...i dont think i can take care of another special need kid...it will just keep make me remember him.. i miss him so much..sekarang bila aku teringat kat dia aku banyak menulis tentang dia..memory with him...it hard when you see a certain place that its make you want to share it with him.. to bring him to anywhere i go ..but i know he will feel what i'm feeling... this is so hard... ada lagi sebulan lebih lagi for his birthday... i like to said that i have no regret for the last moment that we have together.. i'm glad that i can take care of him..i have no regret for the care that i have give him... I PROMISE MYSELF THAT "I'M GOING TO WRITE ONLY POSITIVE THING " occasionally sad thing..so no more SAD thing..ok gonna find a game to play...